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I usually look forward to the slow down of work come winter–time to get life in order and spend more time with my family.   Toward the end of fall I start coming up with plans to make up time missed with my kids on weekends and reimburse the love missed with my short temper from stress and “not now!”s.  It’s a difficult balance–being responsible for your child’s every day, every moment with no one to hand them off to.  All while trying to keep a business afloat, up to date, and desirable…and fulfilling your own needs to do what you feel is right.  Come November every year, I have quit twenty times over, and sworn “I won’t work this hard next year,” or promised I’d be a better, more attentive parent.  
While this year was no different from any of the above, I find myself in the same place as I was a year ago, pregnant, exhausted, and struggling. 

First. I’m excited now, finally.  Once the shock of being pregnant again faded, excitement begins to unfold in my heart to bring our final family member into our lives.  But please don’t mistake that for unbridled pregnancy bliss.  My body wasn’t meant to be pregnant.  The pain that comes from it is sometimes unreal and always annoying, I can’t stay away from sicknesses that are passed around, and this time, I LITERALLY just had a baby and my body is mad!
Today I ran to the grocery store after picking up Tessa from 4k, to grab tomatoes that were needed for tonight’s dinner…a quick stop (and $100 later) and I was nearly walking to my car in tears from the pregnancy pain I was experiencing coupled by exhaustion from a sleepless night between Adelaide and discomfort.  All my plans for the day got moved–my bathroom still isn’t cleaned, I probably won’t finish the laundry tonight and the craft I hoped to do with Tessa while Addy napped never even crossed my mind.  Instead, I layed on the couch.
I layed on the couch and watched my daughter entertain herself.  She’d hop from My Little Pony role play melodrama, to coloring books, to dance parties, to crafting alone and then start it all over again.  All while, stopping by the couch to tell me how much she loves me, give me a hug, and ask if I need anything.  She is really, seriously, probably, the best 4 year old on earth.  (And I’m probably the worse mother on earth).

I don’t deserve her.  She has an infectious spirit and a compassionate soul.  She loves so hard it hurts her sometimes and she may have invented the saying “make lemonade out of lemons” in her past life.  I am absolutely certain that she was put in my life to teach me what it is all about.  Any misconceptions I had before her vanished when she was born and the world became so much clearer, so much bigger, so much more important than anything within myself when she came roaring onto the scene.

Most every afternoon you can find her whizzing throughout her normal home activities.  But this spot right here, it’s the spot that will be engrained into my brain and my heart forever.  She takes the time she needs to be alone.  To create, or plan.  To do whatever comes to her.  She sits at the table and she plans the march of the future with every scribble, and googley eye.  A free thinker, a passionate soul.  This is where my future is born each afternoon, and for that I am undoubtedly lucky.

This year, a lot of families I work with have kiddos turning TWO!  It’s funny, you totally forget what it’s like to have a two year old once they approach three and four and have a whole different set of challenges.  In the same breath, I was brought right back to when my kiddo was two as I photographed Miss Brynlee a day short of her second birthday.  Girlfriend knows what she wants and does what she wants!  The ode of the two year old!  I love it–I love every second of working with these “terrible two’s”.  It’s challenging, fun and so rewarding.  I feel like two is the end of baby-hood.  They are emerging into little people and by the time they turn three, they become full fledged adult toddlers.  To be the one entrusted to capture these firsts and lasts is so humbling.

Enjoy your two’s Brynlee!

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The second I saw this little bow-tie pop out from underneath this little sweetie’s sweater coupled by his big gummy smile and stunning blue eyes, I knew we were going to have a good night!  And boy was I right.  Mom and dad found me through a session that I did for a friend of theirs and I’m so thankful for that!

It’s sessions like this one, where everyone is totally laid back, hilarious, and open to adventure that make me love doing what I do.  I love being a historian for everyone because I love looking into the lives of others, if for only one moment.  Because I learn so much from each client I work with.

I love taking photos for families with their first baby around six months because the excitement and awe that oozes from mom and dad is always so palpable.  The love and pride for their little one is just so contagious. It reminds me of how we should feel for our children always–because sadly, that intensity dwindles as our babies grow.  The feelings are probably always there but the intensity fades, because, well, life happens.  But we are our baby’s best cheerleaders as parents; and so, shouldn’t we muster up that fervent joy on the daily for them? Isn’t that our job?

I got home to my own babies after this session and realized that, while in no way ignored, my four year old wasn’t getting my fervent heart the way she deserved because her little sister was often the focus.  I’m so thankful for the reminder.  I love learning through you all, my beautiful photo-clients!

Anyway, enough about me.  Check out this stud!

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  • emily - How beautiful are these!! Love the moments you captured : )ReplyCancel

When I photographed my own newborn recently, I had a realization that made me reconsider the way I would shoot the rest of the newborns I see in my studio. While my baby was growing inside of me, I had months to visualize what I thought I might do with her in the studio–all complicated, different poses than what I typically do–an opportunity to practice and expand my portfolio, I thought.

In reality, nothing turned out the way I wanted, and I spent a few days upset about it before I went back into the studio with her again a week or so later. This time, I let her lead the way. I realized then, really, what I’d want to see the most in the years to follow would be who she was as a newborn–her personality, the things that made her unique, her little details. 

I was excited when this little guy came into the studio a month later; My main goal would be to capture him in all his unique simplicity first. . . because we know all newborns have their own little personalities for sure! I have decided, while, the fun poses with props and wraps etc. are obviously desired, I will start all sessions just simply capturing who the babies are alone and simply. I will still get some unique more complex posed photos too, of course, but it will not be my main goal as it used to be.

I’m SO happy to have come to this realization, and relieved! It is so easy as a creative mind to constantly compare and measure up, and see amazing artful photos that seem completely perfect and elaborately thought up and get caught up in them–when in reality I feel it makes us loose focus on the real moments in front of us! These types of images, coupled with the 1-2 minute videos of these sweet babes that I will be including for newborns will ensure that mom and dad can always relive the sweetness of the first moments of their child’s lives–and what gets better than that?!

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