On the cusp

Change is always good.  It forces us to get out of our comfort zone and reach a little farther beyond the limits we’ve set for ourselves.  I’ve always relished change; but something happened to me when I was 16 that built walls around me that never existed prior.  Slowly slowly I’ve begun to feel like my old self again.  Like I’m good enough for this world we live in and strong enough to fight the battles life throws at me.  Like I’m reaching my full potential, blossoming.  And damn…it feels so good.

Having a baby is life changing for everyone, and in different ways for us all too.  For me, it gave me life again.  Purpose, confidence, excitement, and a whole new appreciation of joy and life.  I love my little girl and greater ways than I’d have ever expected.  I’ve let go of so much that held me back since she’s entered the world and the constraint of doing what I thought was expected of me was lifted.  While balancing my dreams and raising a child that will be a positive influence in the world at the same time has been a HUGE undertaking and harder than I ever could have guessed; it has been the most freeing thing for me.  Life is too short people.  If you dream it, you can believe it.

This morning I received an email from a photographer that has rocked the wedding photography industry something serious.   She was on the forefront of the modern digital photography world and in my humble opinion helped create the photog blogosphere and mold the expectations of online networking in business to make it what it is today.  But she never stopped working and dreaming and creating and now has a real empire in the photography world on her hands.

I’m not the type of person to idolize someone.  We are all people with dream and a life that we’ve made.  But IF I had to pick someone, it’d be her.  Not because she’s an amazing photographer.  But because she is the epitome of following her dreams.  Dreaming something big, and taking the leap to follow them.  Falling down, getting up and still moving forward.  I love that.  I love a good underdog story, it gets me every time.  Jasmine may not have been a typical underdog, but she did give up her spot in a prestigious law school to care for her sick mom and meanwhile pursued something she thought was not much more than a good idea.  And now? Now she has people paying $900 for an 8 hour workshop all over the world.  Oh, and that email I mentioned? Yeah, it was for one of those workshops.  And guess who is going?!  Woot woot, this girl!

I’m super emotional today.  Yesterday I cried because I took the crib rail off my daughter’s bed and she slept in her ‘big-girl’ bed for the first time.  Today, I sat in Starbucks and sobbed a little bit after my husband gave me the “just do it” for the J* workshop.  I left my girl at daycare for the first time in her 20 months on the earth, and I’m working kid-free for the day.  I sat here in this Starbucks and couldn’t hold back.  I’m okay now, but can’t help but think; so this is what dreams are made of?!

If I can make it through my first race this Saturday (yeah, another goal checked off the list, I’m running Crazy Legs 8k on Saturday), I think this month will go down in my mind’s card catalogue as an epic month of accomplishment and happiness.

Yep, doing pretty good so far 🙂