Wedding Wednesday: The First Steps

He (FINALLY) popped the question, so now what?!

I got engaged around three in the morning or so, so I had to hold it in for hours before calling family and friends!  But naturally, that is the first thing you should do!

{me, flashing my bling at Ortley Beach NJ with the fam back in July ’09 the day after he proposed}

Step 1: Spread the word…don’t let facebook do the talking.  This is one of the biggest steps   of your life–have tact and let the people closest to you know personally–give them the respect of not letting internet world know immediately.  If you post it on facebook your brother/sister/mom/dad may unintentionally get notified via someone else before you get to them; and even if you’re okay with that, they probably would have liked to hear it from you!

Step 2: PARTY! Celebrate this moment with people you love and toast to what is to come–enjoy the moment now because once the wedding planning starts, it’s easy to loose sight of the excitement of the joining of your lives forever.

Step 3: Pick a date.  Think about who you want at your wedding the most.  If they have to travel or will need to make arrangements make sure you plan a date that you think will work for them. For example, my mom, dad, brother, and sister all live in Florida and we knew the wedding would be in Wisconsin.  My mom is a teacher and my sister is still in school…therefore I knew that as much as I would have liked a fall wedding, a summer wedding would be more practical.  While in the end, it is about the bride and groom, you probably want key players in attendance…so try to think logically.

The next few things should happen shortly after you settle into a date, but the order probably doesn’t matter as much…my theory though, is the sooner the better.  I’m the type of person who likes to just get things done.  I will probably just go on from here sort-of in the order that I did things.  While it wasn’t perfect by any-means, I haven’t really found any problems with it.  And if I did I will let you know–I will also try to explain my logic involved with my decisions.

Step 4: Figure out your wedding party.  Ask your friends/family if they will be in your wedding on the date that you picked and let them know what it will entail.  If your wedding is on a Saturday but you expect them to be present on Friday too, let them know ahead of time so they can make arrangements or let you know if it won’t work for them. Also, if you are requiring travel, keep it small.  Don’t expect dozens of people to be willing to spend a lot of money in travel, attire, and festivities for your wedding unless you are willing to chip in.

When I talked to my wedding party about being in the wedding, I informed them I’d appreciate it if they could all meet me in Tampa Florida to go dress shopping (with my mom and sister) and tried to explain the costs involved in what was expected with travel to Wisconsin for the wedding festivities.  I have the best friends in the world so it wasn’t an issue, but it is good to be forward about this sort of thing so there are no surprises in the end.

Do whatever you can to alleviate pressure and stress from your wedding party.  While it’s your big day, they are really doing you a favor.  If you have high expectations let them know them in advance.  Loosing a lifelong friendship over your Diva ways is not necessary or a good idea.  Don’t loose sight of what is important.

And finally, one of the last to-dos of the day:

INSURE YOUR RING.  If your ring is valuable to you, and you would have a hard time replacing it–make an appointment with your insurance agent and get yourself covered.  While the sentiment can never be replaced, imagine loosing that AND the money attached.  It is fairly inexpensive depending on the value of your ring–but it can range anywhere from $10-$100 a year for an average ring.  Really, that’s priceless if in ten years your two year old decides to watch it flush down the toilet, right?

{me and my new fiance’ shortly after he proposed, and  saw the ocean for the very first time…big moments!}

Check back next week when I’ll discuss picking a location, finding a venue, and signing a contract.