3 years 7 months and 22 days

3 years 7 months and 22 days.

Life-changing, life-bringing, life-making days on this earth with my sweet, compassionate, funny, fearless and charismatic daughter. . . my only child.  In just three short days I fear I’ll loose her briefly in the fog of hormones, needs and overall excitement that her sister will bring to this world.  We are on the brink of a life change that I can’t imagine to be any better than she was–but know it will be all the same.  The highs, the lows, the tears of joy and happiness.  The breaths of it all; of this life we’ve made.

I can’t help but lap up all of her smells, and quirks–reminisce about her milestones and challenges–as if I’ve ran the course and my thirst is unquenchable.  It seems simply impossible to have the capacity to love so much twice…and seriously, “how can any other kid possibly match her?”

As she’s shown and taught me already in her advanced maturity, she will handle it with valor and benevoulence as she does with any change she’s been faced with; I’m starting to become less worried about her and more worried about me.

When I think of tucking her into bed for the last time before her sister is born, or the moments she realizes the baby trumps her in needs at any given moment I can’t help but fight back the choking emotion of grief.  On the flip, when I think about her holding her sister for the first time realizing her big sister title has finally arrived I  struggle to breathe through the heart-full aching of joy.

Bottom line…I’m going to be a big old hormone induced momma of two hot mess!  Looking forward to sharing pieces of this next part of our journey with you all, just as you let me into pieces of yours.  How lucky are we, parents, to know a love so much greater than all else; and an importance beyond our own lives.